| there will be a hidden message.. |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|04:58 pm] |
There’s not a Shakespearean sonnet,
Or a Beethoven quartet,
That’s easier to like than you,
Or harder to forget.
You think that sounds extravagant,
I haven’t finished yet,
I like you more than I would like,
To have a cigarette.
why is it that when we like someone we find it so bloody hard to tell them? why should someone not know that they are liked? what could possibly go wrong? the above poem is written by a lovely woman named wendy cope. my friend rachel used itto let her friend chris know how she felt about him. btw, rachel is a chain smoker. i think this is one of the cutest ways of letting someone know you like them. along with mix cds, poems are the way forward in communication. however after presenting chris with the poem, rachel hid in my room for about 3 hours, frightened that she had ruined everything. her and chris are really good friends, he makes rachel happy and he makes her feel safe, he's the one she can turn to and feel ok about everything. she has a glow when shes with him. and yeh, he is very pretty, but its more than that with this situation. its about how she feels becasue of him. chris is fine with her. he doesnt feel the same way, but it hasnt changed anything. rachel is still panicing that shes ruined it. thats so silly...if chris really is the sweet caring boy thats shes fallen for then he will understand and be there to turn to, to make it all ok.
why is it so hard? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|04:24 pm] |
This morning i was sat in front of a fire, just left of Bournemouth Pier. Behind me the sun was rising over the cliffs and in front of me, the Isle of Wight was waking up. My clothes had just about dried, as a result of my 4 o clock swim on Wednesday afternoon in the oh so salty English Channel. After much laughter and frolics in said water, me and my companions made our way to BIC, where at 8pm, Bob Dylan walked on stage and played 2 hours of jaw dropping musicalness that could fall into any country/rock/n roll/blues/folk genre along the way to amazing. I love him.
After the gig, we fetched our bags from a nearby bush where we had cunningly placed them before hand and went back down to the seafront. I was so happy. The pier reflected in the calm water and the 4 lonely lights that could be seen on the Island ahead were so perfect at that time.
Of course, not all things stay calm. We were joined by abdul, a strange, crazy Morrocan man, married to a Pakistani lady in Leeds, but he lives in Bournemouth and all these other random, legal, visa, CIA things he kept babbling about. We escaped his company this morning by hoppin in a taxi while he was getting cash out for his coach ride back to london, where he was taken me and vikki out to lunch.
Not for you Mr Abdul. Not for you. *shakes head*
Gosh i am ever so tired. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|07:19 pm] |
london is bad for my health. i returned to norwich with a headache, a blocked nose, a sore throat, and a poor self image. to top that, my brother and sister piss me off because they hardly ever go to school, my brother has missed 2 of his exams (english and science) and still seems to think he can go to 6th form, my sister has taken over my room, and i cant even move into hers, which i really shouldnt have to, because its a fucking dump, so i spent tuesday night on the sofa, which resulted in about an hours sleep - broken sleep.
my poor mum is great bless her, but she appears to be giving up on my lazy, disrespectful siblings and as much as i want to help, theres nothing i can do.
if it wasnt for the greatness of the angels and airwaves gig, which featured a boxcar racer racer song which made my night, but also re ignited my desire to see that band, i would have deemed the weekend pointless. i thank steph for this cos i wouldnt have bought a ticket if it wasnt for her.
it was great to see shanice on her first birthday, and i love seeing sabrina, but childrens parties are only fun when you are a child..and the balloons flew away.
so hmm... norwich it is.
x |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|11:35 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room of pheebs | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nina simone | ] |
i've done it. i've finished my first year at uni. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2006|12:37 am] |
Hey everyone,
I've created a new profile, upon which i plan to post a bit of poetry now and then, dunno if i actually will, who knows, but if you could be so kind as to as to add 'kellehcup' to your friends list, it would be most appreciated. tis just something i'd like to do..
x |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2006|03:09 pm] |
although 2,500 word essays are not something i enjoy doing, especially when, due to my complete lack of attendance to the classes means i have to do all the research myself, and i have left myself 2 days in which to do this rather than the given 2 months, i find that there, when it comes to academia and such, there is nothing more satisfying than the very second when it all fall sinto place in your mind, the 4 parts of your essay clicking together like one jigsaw piece, from the four corners of your mind. its a nice feeling and suddenly its like the sun is shining down on your pile of paper. having said this, when you come across a sentance such as:
'self-consciouness exists only to the extent that it exists for another self-consciouness, and only to the extent that it is recognised by the other as existing'
the sun that once shone suddenly explodes. and everything goes dark again. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2006|08:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | vikkis bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | red red wine... | ] |
i feel saddened. i was just looking over old photos. christmas photos. amaias birthday photos, which arent that old but it was the only time over easter that all of us were together..minus casey, elleh and helen :( but everyone else nonetheless. and we all look so happy and there is much love. i know that still exists, but not so frequently. easter was shitty, i fucked up big time with family which made me pissy around friends. i couldnt win really. i wish easter hadnt happened. i wish we could start it again, with amaias birthday and keep that happy madness going for the whole 4 weeks rather than one deranged night.
basically, i miss you. whoever you might be, if you're reading this and you know what i'm talking about then i miss you. uni isnt the end of the world as you know it, so it shouldnt mean the world as i knew it should change. yes, we have all grown up and changed in different ways, we've all had dramas and tragedies to deal with, no matter how big or small, irrelevent or trivial, we all dealt with things that were new to us, and we could still make it work.
i want a group hug. i want the group.
i do love it here. i love the people. i believe that some of these people i will know forever. me and vikki will still be lookin at the pretty boys and kissing each other even when we have dentures. me and ben will always drink wine and talk rubbish and steal construction sites. pheebs will always call me her baby. angie will always be a drunken loon covered in plaster.
i don't compare the 2 groups. they are different groups, they hold different purposes in my life. but just as i'm still getting to know these people i'm still getting to know everyone i've always known. new things happen every day. in case you were wondering, my current fave colour is yellow, fave song 'school uniform' by the pipettes, fave food is bananas.
i'm not entirely happy with the way i look, but i never really have been. its me and i've looked like this for 19 years.
i'm not entirely happy with my poetry, but im finding ways to improve.
i have a bizarre relationship unfolding that could potentially mess me up but could also be brilliant.
i have deadlines which are stressing me out.
i have 6 bottles of wine to calm me down.
i have a sore finger. a headache. an itchy arm.
i dont have much money, but im not suffering.
i am, despite all the above, generally happy. i feel settled and refreshed. i know whats going on in my head. im not confused by anything or consumed by anyone. i know where i stand in most situations and those in which i'm unsure arent actually relevant at this moment.
i dont quite know where this entry has come from. i'm not sure why i've just evaluated myself. i have noticed that i have a tendency to do this around deadline time. i evaluate my behaviour as well as my work and 'personal development'.
so again,
whoever you might be, if you're reading this and you know what i'm talking about, in any way, at any moment, then i love you |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2006|12:57 pm] |
just so you know, everything is fine with mum, she apoligised for saying what she said, for she was in a rage.
hmm im in the bar, i expected to find all my friends here, but alas, they are not. i am alone... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2006|05:51 pm] |
hmm so i ddnt finish the last update. it would have dragged on a bit, so in short:
my mum was absolutely fuming that i invited dad down without tellin her, she kinda stopped speaking to me for about 2 weeks, was very upset and cried a lot. so, this holiday i have been told that:
'theres been no pleasure from you coming home this time'
'all you seem to do is drink'
'i think its best if you stay in norwich over summer'
'home is only a stop gap for you isnt it, somewhere to recover from your hangover'
as a result of this i felt like a complete selfish cunt (and still kinda do) which meant my moods were more down than up, the more time i spent away from home the more annoyed she got, the more time i spent at home the more i was 'doing it out of guilt' (i wasnt)
shes realised now that i am really more than sorry about fucking up majorly in the first week back, but im still selfish, self indulged and taking the piss.
hmf. there ya go. |
|
|
| so much for sanity |
[Apr. 5th, 2006|08:56 pm] |
Ok, 5 days have passed and already i've pacified drunken fighting lesbians, seen a dancing nun, got drunk, sipped vodka from a french boys mouth and put myself at number 1 on my newly created 'hate list'....
Thursday came home, with Vikki, which was lovely but so strange seeing her on a bus. A London bus, in nowrich. Why confuse us like that? Left Vikki at Victoria and came home, spent the evening happily creating 21st Birthday collage for my cousin. Good.
Friday, stayed in bed for ages, Bernice came round, we chatted, had tea. Still good.
Saturday, Sabrina came round. Shanice is crawling, shes 9 months now.
Amaia came round (hugged and squeezed her) and we made our way to the Fox n Firkin to see everyone. Had a lovely evening there, Mel got very drunk which was great. Can't wait to do it again. After Fox, me and amaia went to my local so i could say goodbye to barmaid whos moving to israel (as you do) hugged and squeezed her aswell. Blagged a drink, played pool, went home. Very good.
Sunday, woke up to alarm and smacked amaia in the face. Spent the day setting up pub and blagging pints. Liam (21st) turned up on time, very surprised by the party, which was brilliant. Drank loads more, danced, ate cake. invited Dad down to join the merriment. Family havent seen Dad for ooh 5/6 months? Mums heart sank, they didnt speak all night. Partied continued.
Theres more. But right nw i cant be arsed to type it. Oops. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
jellehkins's journal